


Love You (Like I'm Gonna Lose You)

by wellthatjusthappend



Series: Iron and Wine [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, High on Pain Meds, M/M, NOT!Underage, Tearing, accusations of rape/pedophilia, but whatever it's brujay porn, hinted onesided brudick, intense guilt, iron and wine series, near death expirence, probably inaccurate in terms of medical affects, sub undertones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:16:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9853307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthatjusthappend/pseuds/wellthatjusthappend
Summary: Jason always forgets the way his near death experiences affect Bruce. It can get a little intense. Bruce get’s possessive and desperate in a way Jason sometimes forgets are possible.Makes them both get a little carried away sometimes and forget other important details.





	

**Author's Note:**

> “In our days we will say  
> What our ghosts will say  
> We gave the world what it saw fit  
> But what'd we get?  
> Like stubborn boys with big green eyes  
> We'll see everything” – Iron and Wine

It was an explosion.

Of course it was. Jason had been looking into some weird activity in Black Mask’s territory. A few too many time unmarked vans idled next to an old “abandoned” warehouse. A little too much security around the building for nothing fishy to be going on. Nightwing was in town and he, Batman, and Robin were working a different part of the city so Jason had taken it upon himself to pay a friendly house call. Sure enough the warehouse fully stocked with drugs waiting to be distributed.

Unfortunately, the whole place was wired to blow.

Jason managed to avoid getting hit by the blast itself, but he hadn’t made it far enough out to not get buried under a bunch of debris.

Honestly, it was a bit like some kind of sick déjà vu. Sort of. His body was significantly less broken than when he’d died the first time, though one of his legs was definitely broken where it was trapped under part of a broken section of the wall. Or maybe it was part of the ceiling. Didn’t matter.

What did matter was that the building was still burning around him and his rebreather in his helmet wasn’t working that well. He had cracked his head pretty hard when he’d been thrown. The good news was that it was his helmet that took most of the impact and broke rather than his actual head. The bad news was, well, that his helmet was broken.

Jason tried to breathe carefully and see if he could get free. The problem was he was using both his arms to keep another section of wall from falling on him. That meant he couldn’t grab anything from his jack or pockets. Not that he could think of anything that would help. He had a few small explosives, but honestly with how fragile his surroundings were that’d probably only bring the rest of the building down on him and kill him for sure. Again.

“Red Hood, report. What did you do? There are reports of a building that just exploded on the East Side near your location.” Batman’s voice crackled in his damaged Com. Man, Jason was surprised that still worked.

“Gotta improve those tracers B: it’s not near my location, it _is_ my location.” Jason laughed and winced. Okay, maybe he’d bruised his ribs too. Hopefully not worse. It was a little hard to take proper stock of his injuries while his adrenaline was going so high all the pain was dulled.

“You’re still inside?” Oh, now he was talking to _Bruce_. The man’s voice was strained and lacked the professional detachment of Batman.

“For the foreseeable future.” Grimaced Jason. Damn, he was pretty sure the smoke was getting thicker.

“Are you ok?” Bruce asked quickly.

“mh, been better.” Jason joked trying not to cough.

“I’m on my way. Stay on the line with me.” Bruce ordered him, voice low enough to be a growl.

“Not like I’m going anywhere.” Said Jason dryly, “Weren’t you doing ‘important’ things tonight though?”

“Nightwing and Robin will handle it without me.” Bruce said shortly. Jason could hear the background sounds of an engine purring to life. He wondered if was taking the Batmobile or the Batplane.

The wall above him wobbled a fraction closer. Jason realized that it was because his hold on it had faltered slightly. Fuck. His vision was getting a little blurry around the edges. The tremor in his arms was truly concerning though. It seemed like the smoke was getting to him more quickly.

Jason opened his mouth to mention it to Bruce but was overtaken by a fit of coughing instead.

“Red Hood, what’s your status?” Bruce barked sharply.

“Fuck- *cough*-I- Bruce, I’m not sure- *cough*- I think I-“ God, Jason felt dizzy. It was going- or? Thoughts in his head weren’t connecting well or making much sense.

“Jason, c’mon. Just a little longer…” Bruce pled. Jason wanted to giggle at that for some reason. Bruce breaking protocol to call him by his name. That was funny some reason. Probably. He couldn’t seem get enough air to laugh though. His mouth opened soundlessly trying anyway as smoke kept clouding in.

Hopefully fire wouldn’t follow before Batman arrived.

There was a reason he had to keep his arms how they were but he forgot, just knew that he wasn’t supposed to let go. His ears were ringing too loud to hear Bruce anymore. He couldn’t see shit either and he wasn’t sure if that was the smoke or he was really just lacking that much oxygen. But still he held on. He was so tired though. Everything was heavy and sleepy and just- he was doing this alone again it seemed.

All alone. So tired…

The weight on his arms was suddenly being lifted off followed by that on his legs. Jason couldn’t really make sense of what was happening but his broken helmet was being tugged off his head and too the side and there was suddenly big hands pressing rhythmically down on his chest and a chapped mouth covering his forcing air back into his lungs.

He wanted to smile; he’d know the taste of this person anywhere.

“Bruce.” He croaked. Big shaking hands were petting his cheeks and his hair while Bruce kept saying things to him he could focus on. Then he was being lifted into strong armored arms and ow fuck his leg hurt like a bitch. He was coughing and he could seem to stop coughing to get a breath. He thought he might hack up a lung or two. Exaggeration, but it didn’t really feel like one. Then he was going up and up and up-

Ah, so it _was_ the Batplane then.

Bruce laid him out on a cot and immediately fixed an oxygen mask over his face. Jason let the machine pump clean air into him while he worked on blinking until the colors and shapes around him started to make sense again. Bruce was using a Batarang to quickly slice open his pants to get to his broken leg.

“Ah! Motherfuck! God, don’t you people use pain meds anymore?” Jason yelled and jerked as Bruce set the bone and braced it in a splint with quick practiced hands.

“Do pain meds work on you still?” Bruce asked, which ok, point, he had developed a bit of an immune system to most of them but-

“If you give me enough of them.” Jason retorted. Bruce’s grimace was visible beneath his cowl, clearly disapproving of the idea, but, “C’mon B, can you just give me some meds? I’m kinda in a shitload of pain right now.”

“Very well. In moderation.” Bruce conceded, passing Jason a water bottle and pills. Jason shakily pushed himself up with a wince and took them quickly. A little more that was typically prescribed but not dangerous levels or Bruce would have stopped him. The water made him realize just how thirsty and probably dehydrated he was so he chugged the rest of the bottle after.

“Are you injured anywhere else?” Bruce said zoning in on the wince.

“Don’t you have a plane to fly?” Jason complained without any heat as Bruce began pealing him out of his jacket and armor.

“Jason.” Bruce said sternly.

“Yeah, yeah.” Jason waved off the on coming lecture, “Ribs took a hit. Head too, but I think the helmet took the damage.”

At the mention of a possible head injury Bruce immediately stopped working the catches of his breastplate and began probing gently at his head.

“There?” asked Bruce needlessly as Jason winced at the gloved hands brushing the tender spot on his head.

“Yeah, doesn’t hurt too bad though.” Jason said, “I don’t think it’s a concussion.”

“We’ll take a scan when we return to the cave. Alfred is flying us there right now remotely.” Bruce said checking Jason’s eye just to be sure.

“Ah, makes sense.” Jason said breathing slowly and evenly as Bruce went back to peeling him out of his top. He took off his gloves and started pressing lightly against his ribs.

“Looks like they’re just bruised.” Bruce told him after a moment, “But we’ll do an X-ray for that too when we return.”

“Why don’t you just do a full body scan while you’re at it? You’re already doing my head, ribs, and leg.” Jason grumbled.

“Probably wise. That way we can see if there are any other injuries your not feeling right now.” Bruce nodded to himself.

“I was kidding.” Jason sighed into the mask. Bruce still didn’t remove his hands, just kept running them up and down his bare side in a way that was highly distracting. Jason pulled off the oxygen mask since he didn’t really need it anymore and fixed Bruce with a look, “B, what are you doing?”

“Jason, I-“ Bruce’s voice sounded _raw._ Jason reached up and pulled off the cowl to look at him properly. Bruce’s eyes a little wide and bit fucked up. Jason touched his cheek and Bruce leaned into it desperately, face crumpling into something almost pained.

“Bruce…” he murmured swallowing.

“Thought I was going to be too late again.” Bruce said hoarsely, “When you stopped responding- When I pulled that rubble off of you-“

Bruce let out a shuddering breath. It seemed Jason wasn’t the only one this had caused flashbacks for.

“I can’t fail you like that again- can’t _lose you_ -“ Bruce started. Jason kissed him cutting whatever he was saying off. For having nearly died, Jason was feeling warm and almost giddy. Loved. Or maybe that was just the pain meds.

“I’m here.” He murmured into his mouth.

“Could have lost you…” Bruce repeated, tangled a hand in Jason’s curls and _clutched._

“So remind us both that I’m alive.” Jason shot back. And oh wow, was that the right thing to say _._ Bruce kissed him like he was going to devour him alive. He pushed Jason flat of in back and loomed over him. Jason wished he could get his legs around Bruce’s hips but his broken leg likely wouldn’t tolerate that.

“Jason, Jay, _Jay…”_ Bruce rumbled kissing all over Jason’s face and then retuning to his mouth like he couldn’t get enough. Jason sighed out a small sound as Bruce practically pet the skin on his chest. He kept on brushing his fingers over his nipples over and over and it was driving him _nuts_. He wasn’t even sure Bruce was doing it on purpose.

Everything felt like a tease. Everything felt-

“Bruce!” Jason didn’t know if he should laugh or moan as Bruce cut away he pants and underwear and turned his worship to Jason’s bared thighs. Either way, it was incredibly hot. Jason found himself mentally picking out an outfit he could convince Bruce to rip off him when he was healed because fuck-

And then Bruce was shoving two slick fingers into his ass and Jason was choking out a noise. And then very shortly after there were three fingers. Jason yelled tipped back his head gaping at the ceiling. Bruce was usually so ridiculously careful about prepping Jason. He’d never been able to rile the other up enough to just-

“Oh! Motherfucking-“ Jason choked and clawed uselessly at the Batsuit. The Dark Knight of Gotham was kneeling between his legs while he lay there naked. Such a powerful position. Jason didn’t even know which one of them he meant. He felt powerful knowing he could so easily be the undoing of the most dangerous man in Gotham yet also be so completely undone by him at the same time.

He wondered if it was like that for Bruce too. Or maybe he was just riding high because the pain meds were finally kicking in properly.

Jason felt the plane touch down, knew it meant they’d reached the cave, but also knew Alfred would know better than to come up here.

“You’re alive. You’re alive and you’re so beautiful…” Bruce kissed the head of his cock as he gave is fingers a particular twist that made Jason scream and bare down desperately on the digits. Bruce tongued at his slit and Jason sobbed. Then laughed, because it was apparently that time of day. Bruce seemed to understand because he was kneeling up to share the taste with Jason. Sucked lightly at his tongue till they could only taste each other.

Then Bruce was pulling out his fingers fumbling with his belt. That wasn’t much prep, Jason idly thought, but he also severely didn’t give a shit.

“Jay…” Bruce groaned and shoved in.

“Oh god.” Jason squeezed his eyes closed. It was so much tighter than usual. It hurt. He wasn’t opening up the way he normally- and then he was. It hurt, but it also felt like the most necessary thing. Like a crackling promise in his skin. An impatience in blood. Bruce, _Bruce,_ was _inside_ him and it didn’t matter that they’d been doing this for ages, it felt- he felt-

_Utterly alive._

“Jason, open your eyes, I need to see…” Bruce begged him, started to thrust and dragged Jason’s whole body with him. Growled and gripped him harder, held him still, pulled out swiftly and the pushed in and in and-

“I’m here.” Jason opened his eyes and shakily touched the other’s face. He wanted to take it back as soon as he did it, it was too honest for the type of thing they did together. But then Bruce was making a soft wounded sound and simply plowing into him and Jason forgot all about what ever rules they were supposed have for each other once upon a time.

Normally, Jason was a much more active participant in their coupling but with his injuries he really could only lay back and take the pleasure that was being given. It made Jason seriously consider bringing bondage into their bedroom because man he liked this feeling of being laid out and being helpless to Bruce’s intense desire for him.

Maybe.

He had a sneaking suspicion that the fact that he wasn’t feeling much of the pain that was in his body right now was strongly affecting how much he was enjoying being so roughly taken. Though he did have a bit of a masochistic streak he was realizing or he wouldn’t be with Bruce in the first place. Probably. Though Bruce sometimes looked at him like-

“Don’t deserve you.” Bruce panted and kissed him messily.

“Think you’re mixed up.” Jason snorted, then gasped as the next thrust made him clutch at Bruce’s shoulders.

“So precious. You deserve everything.” Bruce told him in that sort of hoarse honesty that always made Jason want to run… and also never leave.

Bruce thrust into him _hard_ again and Jason screamed, tried to arch up only to have Bruce shove his hips back down.

He loved it.

“I can’t- Bruce, I-“ Jason tried to tell him.

Then-

“ _Get the fuck off of him!_ ” Jason startled as suddenly Bruce was being yanked off and out of him and – Ow. Fuck, ow. Oh and there was a furious Dick Grayson standing over them.

“Oh. Hi Dickie.” Jason panted dumbly blinked up at the other dimly aware of the tear tracks on his cheeks, trying to make sense of what was happening. He was having trouble thinking anything at the moment though, his brain felt like one big octten ball. Dick was staring at him with this devastated look that quickly twisted to something painful at his words.

“Oh my god, Bruce, is he high?” Dick demanded rounding of the other.

“He. Is on some pain medication-“ Bruce started haltingly.

“ _Jason_ is _crying_ , did you not think that was a sign to stop?”

“He seemed-“

“Bruce there’s _blood_. What did you do? Just rip off his clothes and start fucking him? Because that’s what it looks like.” Dick demanded. Bruce looked horrified so Jason guessed there really was some blood on his thighs. He supposed that had been a small tear he’d felt earlier. Honestly though, his pain meds were making everything nice and fuzzy around the edges so he didn’t care all that much.

“Dickshit, stop yelling, you’re hurting my head.” Complained Jason. He should probably feel humiliated laying here naked and hurt in front of Dick, but he didn’t. That would likely come later, “And stop making it sound like Bruce is some creepy rapist. I mean, usually I don’t bleed or anything but that probably just ‘cause I’m a little high and didn’t really notice.”

“’Usually’? This has happened before? How long has this been going on?” Dick asked still looking pissed. Bruce just shrunk back from him a bit guilty, “You know what? No. I can’t deal with you right now. Get out, I’ll look after Jay.”

Bruce positively fled.

Jason groaned. It totally made this seem like it was worse than it was. Like he really had been doing something wrong instead of- goddamnit Bruce. Then again, Bruce had been determined to punish himself for weird notions of guilt since they started this. That had been part of the original allure. Jason wasn’t sure when he’d grown out of enjoying Bruce being guilty about wanting him to just enjoying that Bruce wanted him. He’d think about it more when he could actually, y‘know, think properly.

“What’s your damage?” Jason grumbled Dick instead groping around till he found a blanket to cover himself. Because, _really_ , he would have liked to at least finish getting off and get a good night sleep before dealing with anything.

“I can’t believe him! ‘Usually’… just, oh my god. That makes it sound like this had been going on for ages, doesn’t it? Geez, at least tell me this wasn’t going on while you were Robin _.”_ Dick started rummaging in the cabinets for some ointment looking and sounding stressed.

“Jesus, of course not.” Jason blanched, “Think with your head Golden Boy. Bruce is _Batman_. I don’t think he’s capable of perving after a kid. Also, just because _you_ would have let him fuck you as Robin if he’d ever hinted he wanted it doesn’t mean the rest of us would have.”

Dick flinched.

“Of my god.” Jason stared at him, “ _Really?_ ”

“Oh, shut up. You’re the one who’s _actually sleeping with him_.” Dick hissed defensively.

“Yeah. I am. And you’re, what? Jealous?” Jason said incredulously laughing.

“I’m not jealous.” Dick snapped, “I’m incredibly freaked out and disturbed because someone who used to be my _guardian_ is sleeping with one of his other wards.”

“Ok, you can’t put it like that, because 1) it makes your own underage crush really really creepy.” Jason said closing his eyes, “2) emphasis on past tense there. 3) You know Bruce was never really like that for either of us. And also 4) it really isn’t the same for me as it was for you because he didn’t raise me so much as mentor me for a couple years before I died and came later _as an adult_.”

“Yeah, because you were so grown up when you came back.”

“Fuck you, Dickhead.”

“But _still_ , he’s still _way_ older than you Jay. It’s not appropriate.” Dick insisted, “He should know better.”

“You filthy hypocrite.” Jason opened his eyes to give the other a look, “You’ve totally slept with people Bruce’s age before. Like, fuck Dick, isn’t Midnighter _older_ than Bruce?”

“M’s age isn’t confirmed.” Dick had the decency to look embarrassed as he came back finally with the ointment.

“Whatever makes you feel better Dickie.” Jason said propping himself up again to snatch the bottle, “And give me that. Just because I’m high doesn’t mean I want you’re fingers near my ass.”

“Uh, right. I’ll give you some privacy.” Dick said awkwardly.

“Why are you so determined to try and twist this into something creepy and pedo? I mean, there’s tons of issues already for you to pick from what’s the point of picking fake ones?” Jason had to ask. He felt tired from the meds, but he knew he couldn’t go to sleep till after he’d gotten his head checked out a little better.

“I don’t know.” Dick said, though that looked like a lie.

“Because you want to be the one fucking him?” suggested Jason.

“No!” Dick rejected loudly.

“Or fucked by him I guess.” Jason mused.

“Hell, Jason-“

“Well that’s all good then. Because I wasn’t planning on giving him up to you Golden Boy.” Jason said narrowly. Dick straightened a bit instinctively, “Now go grab me some clothes so that when Bruce come crawling back here because he knows he has to run some tests in the cave on me, I don’t scar the baby bat for life. Well, more that usual anyway.”

“You- we’re not done talking about this.” Dick said.

“Yes we are. Now go, unless of course you really were sticking around because you wanted another look at my ass-“

Dick quickly hurried off. Jason grinned.

He was pretty sure he could talk Bruce off of whatever ledge Dick’s reaction had put him on. It was the same ledge as usual anyway. Then he could be falling along side Jason again- Jason frowned at that line of thought. Anyway. He’d see if he could convince Bruce to redirect his guilt into maybe blowing him since he never finished him off before. Or he was sure Bruce was feeling anxious about hurting Jason’s ass. Mmm, he’d probably _need_ to inspect it himself. That could be fun. And sure, they probably wouldn’t be able to fuck for a while but, Jason reasoned pressed ointment slick fingers into his tender hole, this procedure would need to be repeated daily until Jason was healed and _oh yes_ Jason was pretty sure he was going to _insist_ on Bruce giving him his medicine. At the very least, Jason could always threaten to forget to apply it unless Bruce _watched_.

Dick may have complicated things, but they were going to be okay. Jason wouldn’t have it any other way. 

**Author's Note:**

> “And we'll undress beside the ashes of the fire  
> Both our tender bellies bound in baling wire  
> All the more a pair of underwater pearls  
> Than the oak tree and its Resurrection Fern”  
> -Iron and Wine
> 
>  
> 
> This story came both out of betting that Bruce probably doesn't deal well with Jason's near death expirences, and wondering how the rest of the Bat clan would react:  
> We've already seen Damian and Alfred of course.  
> Tim and Babs would have seen it coming, and probably don't volunteer opinions beyond how it relates to the Mission.  
> Cas wouldn't care.  
> Steph would be a little grossed out, but she'd probably sort of follow Tim's lead. Sometimes.  
> But Dick, oh man, I don't think that could have ever gone well. He has his huge crush on Bruce of course and much smaller one on Jason. Both unacknowledged by Dick and unrequited by the others. It's going to take Dick a while to get over it and it will probably always be a pretty sore spot for him even if he manages to be happy for them.
> 
> Come bother me on [Tumblr!](https://wellthatjusthappend.tumblr.com/)


End file.
